TMU student catfished by new hi-tech medical mannequin

Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) has launched a new set of hi-tech medical mannequins for their undergraduate nursing students to use in bettering their real life learning experiences.

According to the official release by head of TMU nursing development, Rob Otsex these new high fidelity mannequins can simulate complete vital signs, pulses, cardiac, bowel and lung sounds as well as full body orgasms.

“These things are ridiculous, I don’t know how the nursing students get any work done with them around,” said Otsex. “Whenever I visit I’m too busy pumping my love potion into the catheter slits by the crotch to actually do any work.” 

Following the implementation of these mannequins, one TMU student seemingly got played when he unknowingly matched with one on the dating app Hinge.

Second-year biology student Gordon Hoover stated the process of being catfished by the mannequin was something he could have never expected as he was “just looking to fuck.”

“I matched with this guy at like 2 a.m. which is prime buttsex time, ask anyone. So when he texted me asking if I could come over I obviously said yes with no hesitation,” said Hoover. 

The mannequin’s profile, set up by an unknown party, was being presented under the name “Manny Quinn” with their profile prompts including: “My love language is: simulating hemorrhage, birth and complicated delivery,” “I know the best spot in town for: normalizing the vast range of bodies students will care for throughout their nursing practice,” and “Don’t hate me if I: am a mannequin.” 

Despite the upset on discovering the truth behind the profile, Hoover said the hookup was surprisingly pleasant and resulted in an experience he will never forget.

“Regardless of whether or not I look like a fool for meeting up with a mannequin, I did have sex with it about six times so who’s laughing now?” said Hoover. 

TMU plans to roll out an increasing number of these mannequins for many courses moving forward including ECN406 (Economics of Objectophilia), CRI103 (Cucking for Creatives) and SWM323 (Sex with Mannequins).