TMSU Special General Meeting total flop, nobody surprised

After the Spring 2025 election was cancelled due to allegations of corruption, the Toronto Metropolitan Students’ Union (TMSU) held a meeting to decide the fate of the next election. 

Overwhelming levels of corruption at the meeting, though, ended with a vote to do absolutely nothing. 

The meeting was held in the Tecumseh Auditorium which was reportedly “described as bigger,” according to TMSU interim executive director, Bruah Momet. 

Abnormal School reporters, who were originally attending the Special General Meeting for the free pizza, were not let on scene due to an oversight in expected turnout. 

Our hungry and legitimate news team was left to sit in the overflow area at the Met Campus Pub while board members relayed the goings on of the meeting through Morse code. 

The meeting frequently veered off course from the agenda. Despite pleas from the chair to “please stop clapping, snapping and wooing,” which delayed the meeting’s progress, the crowd continued to cheer when the same guy went up to the mic over and over again. 

“We are literally killing democracy,” said third-year political science student, Deval Stadvocate in one of his twenty trips to the mic stand, giving a thumbs up. 

After not one, but two instances of the fire alarm being pulled, firefighter Ian Jackson joined the chaos of the SGM to make a statement. 

“Please can these kids stop, a house in The Junction just burned to the ground,” said Jackson. 

After four hours of deliberation the student body bravely voted to do nothing about corruption and uphold the status quo. 

“That was more of a flop than Lachemi’s morning dive into Lake Devo,” said second-year engineering student Anu Ahel. “I’m not sure why I had hope, I can’t remember the last time the TMSU did anything productive.” 

After the meeting adjourned, the pro-corruption and stealing-all-your-money slate members reportedly hosted the “afterparty of the year,” with special guest DJ Ram Ganesh.