URGENT: 90s alum remembers where they left their pre-rolls in pitman

A student from the class of ‘99 has reached out to the Abnormal School for help in retrieving some marijuana products that were left in Pitman Hall during their stay at the Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) residence. 

The graduate, who requested to remain anonymous due to the statute of limitations, wishes to alert all Pitman residents that they may be unknowingly in possession of four  and a half hybrid pre-rolls that were left there in 1996.

“Uhh yeah so back before weed was legal, campus security used to bring in drug sniffing dogs on a weekly basis to make sure people weren’t up to no good, so I used to hide my joints behind a brick I loosened in my dorm,” said the alumnus.  

“I would put them in an empty sour cream container to block the smell and when the semester ended I forgot to take them out from behind the wall.”

“If you live on floor five in room 7A of Pitman Hall, move the dresser on the East wall of the room, find the third brick left of the power socket, jimmy it loose with a butter knife and remove the sour cream container,” he continued. 

If any kind soul wishes to return the weed, the alumnus has provided strict instructions for the Good Samaritans. 

“Bring the container to the Jack Astor’s in Dundas Square on Tuesday at 2 p.m., I’ll be free,” read the instructions provided. I can't give you a cash reward but I'll let you smoke one of the pre-rolls with me and you can keep the sour cream container.” 

In a final plea the alumnus added:

“I really need these. I haven’t been happy since Pitman Hall. The divorce ruined me, please, I just want to get high off of 90s weed and pretend everything’s OK.” 

If you have any information about the pre-rolls, please reach out to your respective program head or any faculty member.